Shadow (dariaphoebe) wrote,
Shadow
dariaphoebe

As the voice below me intoned that my speed over that first, intense-hilled mile was 13 seconds off the ride the previous night, I briefly frowned until I remembered that under an hour ago I'd been hobbling about from the cramping that cropped up during the previous night's ride. I had managed to eat reasonably before that ride and sleep a full night since, making it the best I'd been in days, but there was no confusing best with good.

I'd pushed myself right to the top, via the steep route I normally took. There were no side detours, no minor route changes. This day more than others, I was scared of backsliding. I didn't want to take a path which was even inadvertently easier, less work. If I could keep pushing myself even when my body couldn't support me on that climb and make it, it counted for something.

Step 41: The hills there are to climb don't go away. Climbing them repeatedly doesn't diminish them. They may get easier to climb with time, but the frequent repeated climbs to get you there will no doubt leave you in worse shape than you started, at least for a while. Sometimes, that is just a price you must pay.
Tags: marriage, struggle, transition
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