Shadow (dariaphoebe) wrote,

We'd paused our board game to count down to the new year. Twice. Once with a properly synced clock, then 8 seconds later with the TV. I kissed her both times and we toasted with our friends. I looked forward to continuing to move forward, and so it was a jubilant if symbolic moment.

Fresh in my mind, though, was the story of a girl who could not foresee a path ahead. I first started reading the note she left after it was shared by a friend who obliquely referenced the issue as she shared the story, and I quickly had to stop and let it lay for a few hours.

Her story cut close. It left me with a lump in my stomach, though, for the extreme hopelessness she expressed. I'd dealt with mine by slowly deadening myself emotionally, and I survived. The path to this point was not easy, and looked upon as a whole, it would be daunting.

But so much now, just as when I passed my high school a month ago after realizing where I'd gotten and where I hadn't yet, I desperately wanted a chance to tell others like her that they had a future even if it was not obvious today. And I wanted to tell their classmates that the people like her might have some things going on that weren't easy to understand, but a vast majority of the problems we all experience growing up and learning to be who we are, are common to all of us. I hope before anyone else takes it upon themselves to end it that someone, perhaps me, gets that chance.
Tags: transition
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