Shadow (dariaphoebe) wrote,
Shadow
dariaphoebe

Recognizing one's personality defects

I've been pondering these for quite a while. There are some things I do which are out-and-out strange, but I've been unable to make myself change over the years.
Walking away from your mistakes.
Usually, it's not forever, but when I feel I've gotten myself into a bad situation, I usually try to get some distance from it, instead of dealing. When I was buying my house, I briefly felt it was a mistake between making an offer, and completing the purchase, and so didn't deal with the home inspection until the last minute. And maybe it was a mistake, simply because I still work at CMU... or maybe still working at CMU is the mistake.
On the day we spilled the oil tank I noticed my brother has the same problem: He wanted to run away when it was clean we'd need to call the fire department. I understood, and told him to go to Sheetz and get us food; We hadn't eaten in hours.

Relationship (including, but not especially professional) paranoia.
Because I've been a slacker and not seen my dentist, or my doctor, or my eye doctor, regularly, I can't bring myself to make appointments to see them, because I have this problem where I feel I damaged the relationship. At an emotional level, switching to a new provider would be easier. Luckily my health has been generally good, so this hasn't been a real issue. Yet. And it's sometimes the same way with people I haven't talked to in a while; I'd like to find out how they're doing, have lunch, whatever, and I can't bring myself to get in touch.

Single-mindedness.
Once a potential project or goal has come to mind, I have a hard time letting it lapse until I've finished it or reached (and proven to myself that I have reached) an impasse. Sometimes, though, this means I do something only to have someone else do it better and more thoroughly in the months afterward, and so I've basically wasted my time except for whatever educational value I got for it.

Longing for what I've missed.
It happens with places, events, products... for instance, I recently found out about the XM PC Receiver, which is basically a USB XM radio receiver; They were going for as low as $15 the week before I found them, and as little as $150 the week I did. For $15 (or even for retail of $50) it's interesting. For $150, I'm cranky I missed it. I don't do a good job of dealing with this.

Longing for what I've lost.
The examples here are abundant. My favorite radio station will have been gone for 8 years tomorrow. My favorite restaurant has been gone for 5, also as of about now. And there's the office that I gave up basically in exchange for what's turned out to be nothing at this time last year. Maybe the end of summer is just a bad time, but I have trouble letting go.

None of this renders me non-functional as a person, but each has some effect, and occasionally they combine in interesting ways. I suppose, all told, that I could be doing a lot worse.
Edit: hm. lj-cut seems to not work inside <dl> tags. bleh.
Subscribe
  • Post a new comment

    Error

    default userpic

    Your IP address will be recorded 

    When you submit the form an invisible reCAPTCHA check will be performed.
    You must follow the Privacy Policy and Google Terms of use.
  • 7 comments