March 20th, 2014


(no subject)

I hoped she'd have the answer I didn't, but I knew that was very unlikely. The topic of conversation was one we hadn't broached before, but it was one I had intended to for a while.

There were no surprises. I could offer nothing she didn't already know, and her concerns were largely the same ones I had. The same ones I have.

Sometimes you wonder if something is your fault, and what you might have done differently. I could tell she did, even if she only barely betrayed it, and only a single time. I had no idea how to offer comfort, nor really what comfort would entail. Neither of us felt the things which we shared were within our control, and those things combined to offer the potential to cleave deep rifts, rifts where our relationship could be collateral damage.

In spite of my self-described desire to not kick over rocks looking for snakes, sometimes those rocks are in the path, in the way, impassable. Sometimes, there will be snakes.

Step 28: Don't let fear keep you back. Sometimes growth comes with a price. If you want to grow, you have to pay it. The price you expect to pay may or may not be the one you do, but you won't know until you're there.