April 18th, 2016


(no subject)

We sat in the car, hir driving and me in the passenger seat, on our way across town. The plan had been to bicycle, but the spring weather had brought continuous rain, and so we'd opted for a drier conveyance. We mused about the previous night, and zie asked how I'd slept. The memory was one I cherished, curled into a strange pose though I'd been.

Zie admonished me to enjoy the memory, as schedules meant it would be a while before we again had time together. While a pang of emotion washed over me, my mind shortly moved on the particulars of the memory, and more generally of my memories.

Several times over the previous days, I'd recounted instances from my own history, replete with full and vivid details. When I was younger, I had no inkling that not everyone was able to do so. An article a friend shared recently hammered home the extent to which a deep episodic recall is unusual. "I'll remember it forever," I said, knowing zie would understand precisely what I meant.

In the moment, I realized just how badly such detailed memory could hurt when your life was full of pain. Today, though, in spite of the ache of impending parting, I realize the gift it is to be living a life decorated by joyful, wonderful, exciting moments with loving and caring folks that I am able to savor repeatedly.