That night, the other friend and I boarded the trolley to head south out of town. She had her bicycle with her. I'd locked mine up, expecting a crowded trolley. I was not disappointed. The seats were mostly full, and though a younger man offered me his seat, I decided to stand beside my friend, heels and all.
After the long steady climb through the tunnel out of the city, we made our first stop. A man who was disembarking took the opportunity to comment on my outfit, and really, me. After he left, my friend expressed her incredulity. Social commentary, I explained. Not the first, and it won't be the last. Another lady standing next to us shared her disapproval what had happened. It hadn't fazed me. To an observer, I might come across as a strong person. And in that moment, it came naturally to me. But with the memories of therapy days before in my head, where I shared the unmet need for other forms of external validation, I knew it wasn't that simple. Still, despite recognizing the problem before, I was finally taking a hard look at the problem and trying to figure out what dealing required.
Step 74: sometimes the most incisive actions aren't the ones causing the deepest problems. The only way you can get out from under the problems is to face them.
