Shadow (dariaphoebe) wrote,
Shadow
dariaphoebe

I wrote the message in a spare moment, then sat on it. I knew it was what I needed to do. I'd planned it. But I still needed to think, to steel myself, before I continued.

I slept on it, then offered it to a couple friends to read. They were folks who would be unemotional about it, as they were uninvolved. Again, I stepped back. What I had written explained over twenty years of personal history, a history relevant to the action I was now taking. The baring of my soul was not something I wanted to lightly undertake, but I didn't want there to be any misconceptions about why I was doing it. I also wanted to convey the regrets I had for the things I'd failed at, or left unfinished.

When I'd reached the milestone I'd set for myself, I opened my email client, formatted the text, and hit 'send'. I had cemented the deal, reclaiming part of my life for myself as I closed a chapter in my personal history. I couldn't pretend, though, that I was fully braced for the emotions, and so I went to bed lest someone reply before I did.
Tags: openafs, transition
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