When I concluded, she asked what other goals I had for therapy. The implication wasn't quite clear, but she continued on to clarify the point. What if ... what if I was finished?
I didn't brush off her statement, something which had often happened in the past when she pointed to progress I'd made. Indeed, I embraced it. Upon inquiry, I told her I wasn't without regret for things that had happened in the process of getting to this point, but it wasn't something I was willing to let taint my life. After prolonged thought, joy and pain, exploration and growth, I felt ready. I had not and would not be doing it alone: it's only with the support of others that we can fully come into our own, but I was there.
Our evening included an outdoor concert, and while biking the brief distance back to the car along a trail barely lit by the city behind me to conclude a wonderful night, I remembered the other thing I told her. This needed to be the new baseline. Nothing can ever be perfectly stable, but I now had my goal. This was my chance. This IS my chance.
